Turtles: friend or foe?

I want to draw your attention to the fact that turtles have been acting like total idiots lately. First, they join Improv Everywhere–annoying.¹ Then they totally ask for it.² Sure you can eat them,³  but then you’ll have to deal with this haunting your dreams:

1. 78 turtles delay JFK runway

2. Two Headed Turtle Stolen

3. creole turtle soup