A Website on the World Wide Web with writing by Laura Jayne Martin

Yeah, you're right, almost *too* quiet...

Why do we have three prime-time shows about cake and only one about exploding whales?

Not one time in Cake Boss, Ace of Cakes, or Amazing Wedding Cakes have any of the cakes detonated.  I want it raining butter creme and Royal icing shrapnel all over Baltimore City.

Last night, I encountered something truly incredible: National Geographic Channel’s The Whale That Exploded[!]. Apparently, in January 2004, a 50-ton dead sperm whale took its own life.  It spontaneously combusted all over a Taiwanese City center through “its own internal forces”. (You see, Whales can’t escape death, taxes, or post-death internal forces.) This is worth watching for the re-enactment alone.

The story does have a happy ending though, thanks to the folks at Extreme Home Makeover.  They rebuilt the whale for a family who had not one, but two children with red hair.  The Malinowski family now enjoys their 8-bedroom bi-level ranch inside the former, former sperm whale.  Mrs. Malinowski thanked the folks at Sears, Ty Pennington, God, and the city of Tainan, Taiwan.  “It was as if an angel came down from Heaven and blew that dead whale up himself.”  Her one complaint? The seagulls persist.

For those interested in something non-miraculous, below is a video of a less-autonomous gut renovation.