I want to draw your attention to the fact that turtles have been acting like total idiots lately. First, they join Improv Everywhere–annoying.¹ Then they totally ask for it.² Sure you can eat them,³ but then you’ll have to deal with this haunting your dreams:
Twitter
- Tried to log my own poop in the babies’ app today. 1 week ago
- Been literarily “reimagined” multiple times, never complained. 2 weeks ago
- The best version of my self is the one speaking on the phone to doctors’ office receptionists. 1 month ago
- It’s my first Father’s Day as a father. I love fatherhood and, as a father, I couldn’t be happier to be the one and… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 1 month ago
- I’m non-binary. I mean, I have been my whole life, but I just wanted to say it on Twitter so it “counts” before all the spots are taken. 2 months ago
