Confirmation

You did it!

The Senate Judiciary hearings with Judge Sonia Sotomayor are over, but don’t worry the full season comes out on DVD August 10th.   This includes bonus footage of Judge Sotomayor demonstrating nunchucks on Sen. Tom Coburn and behind-the-scenes bloopers of Sen. Arlen Specter referring to himself as a Whig.

The confirmation process, however, is far from finished. There is still a full Senate floor debate and, of course, the vote (text Soto to 8779).  I am sure at times this is a harrowing ordeal for Judge Sotomayor.  This is why I think it will be useful for me to share with her what I learned from my confirmation.

Hi Judge Sotomayor! First thing’s first, you have to pick a Saint’s name.  Don’t listen to any new wave dunces who advise you to choose your own name.   Do you really want to be Judge Sonia Maria Sonia Sotomayor?  My younger sister is stuck with Emily Rose Emily for life.  I chose Barnabas, after Barnabas Collins on Dark Shadows.¹  This choice was promptly rejected by both my parents, Father Midori, and Sister Francine the head of the CCD.

So, I went with Michael instead.

Step two you completed head of time, which is so like a Yale student (Good Job!).  You already have your sponsor.  I chose my aunt, but The President of the United States is okay too.  He’s not a Catholic but neither was Jesus (and the Vatican loves them both).

Now you just need a dress.  No matter who you are, you are not going to be Confirmed in a pantsuit (I tried).  After your Confirmation, you should probably throw a big party at your house.  It will be decidedly less cool than a Bat Mitzvah and no one will get souvenir boxers.   Take heart, you will have a delightful cake and most likely a seat on the United States Supreme Court.  I hope this helps!

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2. Remake alert! Warner Bros. is making a movie of this series shooting starts 2009.