The Ideal Brain Tonic/The Delightful Summer-Winter beverage.

The Volkswagen Coke

Holy Cokes! I know I promised more Cuisinart tirades, but I’ve just received some breaking news.

Tiny Cokes are coming!

Coca-Cola’s North America Sparkling Beverages President Hendrik Steckhan said, “The Coca-Cola mini can is a great option for smaller thirst occasions and for calorie-conscious consumer. Our new sleek mini can supports the idea of moderation and offers people yet another way to enjoy their favorite Coca-Cola beverage.”

1.) How can I become a sparkling beverages president? My intuition tells me I will need an accent and a monocle.

2.) Finally, finally we are taking a step toward ending discrimination against people with smaller thirsts.  The were born less thirsty and they have the right to baby-sip their way through existence.  Life is theirs for the nursing!

I cannot wait to stamp my passport to refreshment.  I want to buy the world one of these, but unfortunately for the rest of the world the Shakira of beverages will only be available in NYC and DC, for now.  I will conduct a taste test and report the results.  In the meantime, start saving up for Eye Dropper of Pepsi, coming to stores March 2010.


2 responses to “The Ideal Brain Tonic/The Delightful Summer-Winter beverage.

  1. what about the people who always drink two cokes? why not make a 24 oz can?

    oh. well i want can.

  2. “Chocolate milk is soda in drag”, says renegade lunch lady:

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