Ben Her

Chariots on fire

Trying to outdo the man with the unicycle, we have the woman who drives

a bicycle rickshaw.  Or perhaps what was once a bicycle rickshaw before she pedaled it through the forest fire in the end of Bambi.  Last night, the young hipster parked her vehicle and carried groceries from Whole Foods into a luxury condo.  She stopped only once, to look back at her beloved charred bicycle rickshaw. I think we can be sure she was wishing she could bring it inside and cuddle it close to her on that cold, cold night.

I write out of bemused jealousy–I’m confused but sort of always wanted a dirty bicycle rickshaw of my very own. I would use it for commuting and patrolling the streets, and to give tourists rides pointing out lesser known  landmarks like:

1.) Konnatuck’s Point in Central Park where Mark Twain fought a big bear who called him a racist (that, bear–went on to become California’s state mascot);

2.) the second statue of Liberty, Lord Liberty who overlooks  the Bronx from North Brother Island in the East River and is actually less of a statue and more of an old man who paints himself green and swims out there every morning.

3.) And, of course, the Steampipe Alley where millions of men and women built hundreds of steampipes throughout the early 1900s.  Located in that spot today? Saks Fifth Avenue.