Sorry I missed you, yesterday. I was busy driving my car up and down the interstate. Why you ask? I was waiting for local news trucks to pull me over, so I could tell people how bad the conditions are and that they should stay off the roads. Stay off the roads people! I’ve been driving all day and I can tell you it’s a mess out there. I’m not sure whose car this is– but still, it is not handling well in the post-blizzard conditions.
- Night has fallen in the East Village. @JohnMayer's production trailer continues to idle 2hrs after permit expired. I'm lying in my bed 1/178 1 day ago
- I married my wife for love AND the shampoo, conditioner, comb, soap and toothpaste she remembers to pack when we travel. 4 days ago
- 2 birds, either fighting or fucking, tumbled off an awning and hit me in the chest. Happy Friday! 5 days ago
- Please enjoy my sex toy fun twitter.com/cosmopolitan/s… 3 weeks ago
- Um sorry, I prefer rappers smart enough NOT to vomit up delicious free spaghetti. 3 weeks ago