God Bless Elena on her Confirmation!

One Bread, One (Governing) Body

I know my faithful readers will remember I advised Justice Soto on her Confirmation.  I would be remiss if I did not do the same for SGK.

The Senate Judiciary hearings with Solicitor General Elena Kagan are over, but don’t worry the full season comes out on DVD August 10th.   This includes bonus footage of Ms. Kagan eating Christmas dinner with friends at a Chinese restaurant and behind-the-scenes bloopers of Sen. Arlen Specter referring to himself as a Whig (he just can’t stop doing this).

The confirmation process, however, is far from finished. There is still a full Senate floor debate and, of course, the Judiciary vote (text Kaga to 8779).  I am sure at times this is a harrowing ordeal for Ms. Kagan.  This is why I think it will be useful for me to share with her what I learned from MY confirmation.  You know just some tips for the blessed event, no big deal.

Hi Solicitor General Kagan!  First thing’s first, you have to pick a Saint’s name.  Don’t listen to any new wave dunces who advise you to choose your own name.   Do you really want to be Justice Elena Elena Kagan?  My younger sister is stuck with Emily Rose Emily for life.

I chose Barnabas, after Barnabas Collins on Dark Shadows. Laura Jayne Barnabas Martin, perfect; unfortunately this choice was promptly rejected by my parents, Father Midori, and Sister Francine—the head of the CCD Young Catholic education program.

So, I went with Michael instead.

Step two you completed head of time, which is so like a Princeton student (Good Job!).  You already have your sponsor.  I chose my aunt, but The President of the United States is okay too.  He’s not a Catholic but neither was Jesus (and the Vatican loves them both).

Now for step three, you just need a dress.  No matter who you are, you are not going to be Confirmed in a pantsuit (I tried).  I would try some of the nicer malls, like in Westchester—but if you’re crunched for time, just head to T.J. Maxx.

After your Confirmation, you should probably throw a big party at your house.  Watch out, your dad might try to get one of those cakes with your face on it! It will be decidedly less cool than a Bat Mitzvah and no one will get souvenir boxers.   Take heart, you will have a delightful time dancing (I know Sen. Coburn hates when you do this, but hey, it’s your Confirmation, not his!) and most likely a seat on the United States Supreme Court.  I hope this helps!


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