The characters of Friday Night Lights shore up jobs for after their final season.

Clear eyes, full benefits

Coach Eric Taylor: There are times in your life when someone will say to you: “you cannot do this”. “You cannot do this”.  Now, you can give up.  Or, you can just lift up the brim of your hat several times, wince, then look them square in the eye, and sharply turn and walk away.  Then, later you do it.  If some gum gets chewed in the process, that’s all the better.

But I’m not going to interview for this job.  I’m a simple man.  I love my family and I love the game of football, but I do respect myself.  The only person I respect more than myself is Mrs. Tammy Taylor.  I mainly think about wistful backyard pickup games, and how to display my respect for my wife Mrs. Ex-Principal Tammy Taylor. That is why I can’t interview for this job.  I could never respect you more than I respect Tammy Taylor.  I respect God as well.  But God doesn’t always have the gumption—and doesn’t ever have the hair—of my wife, Tammy T. Taylor.  If some fate should perfectly unfold so that the only morally righteous thing to do is take this job at Circuit City, than I will.  But mostly out of respect for Tammy Taylor.

Lyla Garrity I’m going to be really busy: getting my degree in physical therapy, running in low-cut Lycra tanks to stay fit, volunteering with Habitat for Humanity, smiling, and being the last woman your boyfriend dated before you.

Tim Riggins: Well, I didn’t have much experience in the field, but it turns out you don’t need a heckuva lot of experience to teach the second grade.  You just need to be taller than everybody else and willing to give yourself a rinse once in a while.  I turn up, most days, try and stay sober enough to let them know I’m the most complicated and poignant man they’ll ever meet.  I prefer to call people by number rather than by name, and luckily they’re all seven.  I call ‘em all seven.

I like the way they balance out my brooding and they like me because I’m always loyal to them.  Except for sleeping with their moms, but that’s just my nature—my Tim-sinct.  My Tim-sinct, located in my hair, is what forces me to make wrong choices for the right reasons.  Each one of those moms needed me in their end zone.  Those second graders will understand someday—it’s bigger than them.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m still loyal to my second graders.  I’ve run the idea by them of getting a ranch together and living large in Texas, forever.  They’re into it.

Brian “Smash” Williams: Professional Athlete/ Product Spokesman/ Rapper/ Actor/ Dancer/Model/ Director/ Producer/ Doula

Buddy Garrity: Cat farm

Matt Saracen: For a while I considered just being the boy in all the Jane Austen novels.

But then I thought: what will I fall back on?  I mean literally.  The sales of my book “Falling Ass-backward into Successful Leadership Positions” have generated a good deal of income for me.   But where do I see myself in five years?

Let’s think about it.  I’m an underdog.  I come from humble beginnings.  I vacillate and I would rather just please everyone.  I’m Southern.  I’m neck ticklish.  My dad served his country bravely in America’s Armed forces.  I can barely string together a coherent sentence.  Where do you think I’m going to be?  Do you think Chancellor Angela Merkel will mind if I call her “Mrs. Coach Chancellor”?

Tyra Collette: Have you seen Evita?  Basically, I’m gonna do that. ‘Cept in thigh-high boots.

Tammy Taylor: I’ve had a few offers from some really nice people at Dove, the Hallmark Channel and Ponds but, I’d rather stay in Texas.  I’m going to focus on being respected and caring enough to let people spread their wings.

Landry Clarke: Part-time lecturer, Full-time Badass

Vince Howard: What do you mean “final season”?

Gracie Bell: I keep a pretty low profile, but I think my colleagues would tell you I’m a go-getter.   I’m willing to travel.  Also, I can’t talk and I can fit into most suitcases.  I’ve made some pretty savvy investments over the past six months, so I’m looking forward to taking a bit of a vacation before I put myself back out there.  I’m just a little sick of the grind.  Plus my molars are coming in—are you kidding? I’m a baby, jackass, I’m going to sit in my crib and do nothing.  Don’t ask me stupid questions.


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